Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, and Me

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich – yes, richer than a king –
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

-       Edwin Arlington Robinson

I was saddened to hear of the death and apparent suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain last week.   I did not know either of them personally.  I had watched Anthony Bourdain’s show on CNN a few times.    The death of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain provoked two thoughts in me.   First, it reminded me of the above poem that I studied in college.  Richard Cory: gentleman, rich, and schooled in every grace.  Richard Cory puts a bullet through his head and takes his life while the world around him is oblivious to all  going on internally within him. 

The second thing that the death of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain made me think of was a time when I was in a very dark place in my life.  Over 25 years ago,  I thought about taking my life.  Unlike Richard Cory, there were people that noticed the bad emotional and spiritual condition I was in.   One of those people was my late Mom.  I remember being on the phone with her late one night sharing my despair.    Mom made me promise not to take my life and to call her in the morning.    I am not sure Mom slept much that night, but if she did she awoke to a new day and her oldest son alive though not well.   The second person that noticed my plight was my friend, the late Sam Dixon (who died in the Haiti earthquake a few years ago).  Sam saw my pain, cared for me, and prayed with me during those dark days in my life.  I miss my Mom and miss Sam, but will always be grateful that they noticed my plight and stood with me as God’s instruments. 

As I write this,  I know there are a lot more Kate Spades and Anthony Bourdains out there who are in a place of despair.  Like Richard Cory, perhaps there are no people who notice.   I hope not.  I pray that there is a woman like Shirley Perry Wall Wyrick and a man like Samuel Dixon who does and stands with them as they walk through that “dark night of the soul.”     Maybe you are that person that God wants to use.  Let it be, Lord.  Let it be.   Have a joy-filled week.-  Pastor Randy Wall

Prayer:    Lord God, thank you for people that have cared for me in the dark times in my  life.  Help me, Lord, to pay it forward to others;  through Christ our Lord.  Amen.